Weigh in Wednesday - the first in a long time!

Its time to get serious! Before the lockdown I had been losing weight - slowly but it was going in the right direction. Well that has all changed. Not only am I not going down in numbers, I've done a complete u-turn and decided to go back up! 

Baking has been my biggest nemesis during the last few months. I like to bake - cookies, fairy cakes, pavlova, cheesecakes, banana bread... But recently, unless we had guests coming for Sunday lunch, I didn't have time to bake. Until now. 

So each week I am baking again, a mixture of apple sponges, buns and banana bread mostly, and each week I am eating my baking - a lot. So its no surprise that each week I have been steadily going up!

Also, at the start of the lock-down period, when you were only allowed out once a day for a walk - guess what - I WENT WALKING! Then they let you go out a little more and guess what - I STOPPED! 

Basically, I have only myself to blame. Self-sabotage at its finest. 

So its finally time to get back on track, start to hold myself to account and get back on the horse - or diet - or exercise - whatever helps me get where I need to be. I want to be fitter; I want to be able to live my best life without struggling up the stairs; I want to be able to go for a nice walk without getting out of breath.

One of the biggest things I've noticed is my back. I had lost over a stone - and even though it was only a fraction of what I needed to lose, it was still significant enough. Now that its starting to go back on, I can feel it in my back. Having to carry extra weight again is so sore. Even to sleep etc. I hadn't realised the impact. I guess its like on the weight loss programmes, when they get them to carry all the weight they've lost in a rucksack - you don't notice how hard your body is working at the time, but boy do you notice when its suddenly back on. 

Our bodies are amazing. When you think about it, they adapt to whatever we put them through - from weight loss, weight gain - and even worse the yoyoing between the two - to the strain of our organs having to work so much harder with every pound we add on.

God have us bodies to use to do what He wants us to do with our lives. If we aren't looking after them, how can we even begin to imagine we can do our best for Him? This is something I keep coming back to. And I imagine I'll be struggling with this all my life. But I have to try. I have to get past my mental blocks and push through the pain. 

I need my life back. I need to be able to do things for a whole day without needing a nap, or having to go to bed at 9pm. I need to be able to keep up with everyone around me without them having to compromise for me. I need to be able to put my best foot forward, knowing that in doing so, God can use me to the best of my ability, not just the wee bit I've been able to do before. 

So yes - its time to get serious. I weighed in this morning and from my last online weigh in...

OUCH! Not good. But I'm starting again and I will be trying to do my best. Better days are coming! 

 'I can do all this through Christ who gives me strength'

Philippians 4:13

We can definitely do this. Because we have the best helper ever - and all we need to do is ask Him for help. So yeah - that's my focus for this week - to ask God to help me to be aware of what I'm eating and what I'm doing, so that I can begin to control my diet, rather than my eating controlling me. 

In His strength

Tanya ♥

Day 66 - Healthy women

I am not a healthy person. If you’ve met me you’ll know I’m about 5 stone overweight and I can barely walk to the shop and back. 

I didn’t used to be like this. At school I played hockey and netball, and even completed my Gold Duke of Edinburgh Award. 

Since then I spent a year playing netball, a year playing football and many many early mornings at various gyms. 

Yet I’m still sitting here, overweight and with no energy. 

There are a couple of verses I wanted to share today - 

“He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭40:29‬ 

“For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:13‬ ‭

Strength comes to two forms - physical strength and mental strength. 

Physically, I am useless at the moment. I’ve definitely gotten out of the way of exercising - of even walking - and need to start again. I have zero energy to do anything, never mind to do any type of exercise. I don't have the energy to play with the boys outside, to really do things in my house, and I don't have the energy to be the woman God created me to be. 

That's what good health boils down to. God has given us a purpose and has a plan for our lives, but what happens when we are too tired, too fat, too thin or too sick to do what He wants us to do? We need to make sure that we take care of our bodies, not only so we have the energy to do God's Will, but because once we accept Him as Saviour, our bodies are the home of the Holy Spirit - and at the moment I imagine he's not that pleased with mine. 

In light of this, we need physical health to be able to run our homes the way we should, to be a capable and priceless wife, serving our family as we serve The Lord.

One of my favourite authors is Elizabeth George and in her 'Proverbs 31' study she says -

"I began to apply my strength and energy to better things than lazing on the couch, than non-stop reading, than excessive television viewing. I wanted to be strong in character and in body. To be powerful in mind and in body. To be efficient, capable..."

This is my prayer for today - that God will help get me off the couch and moving - whether it's only to lift the load of laundry to put it in the machine, or to run a half-marathon - I pray He will help me train my body so that physically I can do everything He has for me. 

But for now - small steps!! Every day I am going to try to walk / do 15 minutes exercise in an attempt to build my stamina and my energy levels.

What are you doing to keep your stamina and fitness up during this time?

The scary scales...

Well, this evening was our first post-Christmas weigh in and to say that I was apprehensive is an understatement! I had sneakily weighed in several times myself during the holidays and wasn't holding onto much hope that it was going to be good. At one stage it looked like I'd added half a stone to my weight so I was pretty gutted.

On the other hand, while I knew I was keeping to a Slimming World friendly meal plan over the last two weeks, I wasn't going overboard and I was enjoying my meals - whether the lovely food or the amazing company. So it's all about living with perspective. 

So the stage was set - lots of new people standing in line to join up to help with their New Year Resolutions, while the faithful few worried about the damage. 

So here goes... 

Aw now - that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be! I am overjoyed that I haven't gone into my stone off, so now it's onward and upwards towards my 1.5 stone award. These are my two friends who are braving the weigh in with me each week. They are such an encouragement and we are helping each other through - our weekly SW selfie!! Hopefully we'll  also see the weight come off as each week's selfie goes by!

So a new year of eating begins and a new challenge as I start towards my next milestone, and this week I'm introducing an exercise challenge to help with the progress! 

Keep shining xxx

Journey to fit.. or maybe not :(

Well, Tuesday night is weigh-in night at our Slimming World class. That means we all stand on the scales, making sure we've taken off everything that public decency allows!! Shoes, jumpers, earrings... anything that might make the littlest difference! 

Weird things I have noticed is that I have been trying so hard not to eat before a weigh-in, and making sure I go to the bathroom right before standing on the scales... as if either of those things is going to make or break my weigh in! 

And guess what - they don't! 

I had a rather unfortunate weekend, where I ate the wrong foods in the wrong quantities and did zero exercise of any kind. That will never add up to a weight loss, so I was very relaxed about going last night. I even had a late lunch, which I thoroughly enjoyed, something I wouldn't have dreamt of doing... and it made no difference. I had sneakily weighed myself on my home scales yesterday morning, and I was the same weight in the evening meeting. 

That actually gave me hope that I can make this into a real life-style and not just a diet. 

I ended up putting 2 lbs on, which is fine, because I know why it was. But again, I was happy because I honestly thought I would have put on more. I've still lost over a stone since I started, so I'm choosing to celebrate that. 

So next week I am determined to have a loss - even if its just 1 lb. Every little helps. And I really want to try to get off my butt and exercise this week! Again with the good intentions that fail miserably! 

The real joy of the evening was my SW buddy, who was convinced she'd had a really bad week, but actually still lost weight. The surprise and delight on her face was priceless! And its times like that, that you remember why its better to do it together.

I can actually feel the difference in my clothes and the way I move, which is a very exciting non-scale victory for this week. And of course I know that little by little I am becoming the new creation that God created me to be, changing into the butterfly a little every week. 

WEIGHT LOSS THIS WEEK: 2 lbs gain

TOTAL WEIGHT LOSS: 14.5 lbs 

My journey begins...

So one of the parts of my life that I truly struggle with is my weight. I’ve been big for as long as I can remember - I was at least a size 14/16 when I got married and just got bigger after that. I have had four children, but honestly, I can’t even count that as part of my problem. I had really bad gallbladder problems throughout my pregnancies so I actually lost weight because I was forced to eat really healthy and bland food. Unfortunately that obviously didn’t last! 

Today I am sitting at one of my highest weights and I am embarrassed to look in the mirror. All I see are the rolls, the cellulite and the triple chin I’ve recently acquired. 

I feel worthless. I feel embarrassed. I feel as if it’s too big a problem so instead of trying I should just dive into another tub of Ben and Jerry’s ice-cream... 

But that's not going to do it!!! 

Sometimes you can find amazingly inspiring quotes in the strangest of places. I was reading a novel a couple of years ago and looked it up again recently - and I wanted you to share it with you. 

“Think of it as a journey that you are driving. Suddenly you realize you are going in the wrong direction, have been for some time. Do you pull over and spend hours trying to figure out why you went the wrong way? No, you turn the car around and start to drive in the right direction. Along the way, you start to think about the reason you got off course, but you do that as you’re headed toward your destination.”

I always thought I needed to have a plan, a reason and a why before I would be able to properly lose weight. But maybe I don't. Maybe I've been avoiding what follows. 

"Fear. 

And it was because she had built her life around being fat. And that was changing."

It hit me that that is my problem. I self-sabotage constantly because I'm afraid of losing weight and being slim. And that's just stupid! 

It's not as if I would be slim in a month either! It's going to take me about a year to get to where I want to be, but I am still scared. Life would be lived from a different perspective - instead of being the fat girl who can joke and laugh at herself or who makes everyone else look good. 

I know it doesn't exactly make sense, but that's one of the beautiful things in life. You get to take a situation that looks all skewed and let God take it to make it right. So that's what I'm going to do. 

I joined Weight Watchers this week - just to give me a wee kick start. And this week coming I'm planning on starting to do a little walking every day. 

It's the little things that will make the difference for me, and that's about all I can handle right now. I'll be relying on God majorly - and that's right where I want to be. 

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭5:3-5‬ ‭NLT‬‬