Its time to get serious! Before the lockdown I had been losing weight - slowly but it was going in the right direction. Well that has all changed. Not only am I not going down in numbers, I've done a complete u-turn and decided to go back up!
Baking has been my biggest nemesis during the last few months. I like to bake - cookies, fairy cakes, pavlova, cheesecakes, banana bread... But recently, unless we had guests coming for Sunday lunch, I didn't have time to bake. Until now.
So each week I am baking again, a mixture of apple sponges, buns and banana bread mostly, and each week I am eating my baking - a lot. So its no surprise that each week I have been steadily going up!
Also, at the start of the lock-down period, when you were only allowed out once a day for a walk - guess what - I WENT WALKING! Then they let you go out a little more and guess what - I STOPPED!
Basically, I have only myself to blame. Self-sabotage at its finest.
So its finally time to get back on track, start to hold myself to account and get back on the horse - or diet - or exercise - whatever helps me get where I need to be. I want to be fitter; I want to be able to live my best life without struggling up the stairs; I want to be able to go for a nice walk without getting out of breath.
One of the biggest things I've noticed is my back. I had lost over a stone - and even though it was only a fraction of what I needed to lose, it was still significant enough. Now that its starting to go back on, I can feel it in my back. Having to carry extra weight again is so sore. Even to sleep etc. I hadn't realised the impact. I guess its like on the weight loss programmes, when they get them to carry all the weight they've lost in a rucksack - you don't notice how hard your body is working at the time, but boy do you notice when its suddenly back on.
Our bodies are amazing. When you think about it, they adapt to whatever we put them through - from weight loss, weight gain - and even worse the yoyoing between the two - to the strain of our organs having to work so much harder with every pound we add on.
God have us bodies to use to do what He wants us to do with our lives. If we aren't looking after them, how can we even begin to imagine we can do our best for Him? This is something I keep coming back to. And I imagine I'll be struggling with this all my life. But I have to try. I have to get past my mental blocks and push through the pain.
I need my life back. I need to be able to do things for a whole day without needing a nap, or having to go to bed at 9pm. I need to be able to keep up with everyone around me without them having to compromise for me. I need to be able to put my best foot forward, knowing that in doing so, God can use me to the best of my ability, not just the wee bit I've been able to do before.
So yes - its time to get serious. I weighed in this morning and from my last online weigh in...
OUCH! Not good. But I'm starting again and I will be trying to do my best. Better days are coming!
'I can do all this through Christ who gives me strength'
Philippians 4:13
We can definitely do this. Because we have the best helper ever - and all we need to do is ask Him for help. So yeah - that's my focus for this week - to ask God to help me to be aware of what I'm eating and what I'm doing, so that I can begin to control my diet, rather than my eating controlling me.
In His strength
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